The Longing
by BeforexxTheDawn
Summary: Lily.James.Sirius.Remus.Eva.Chloe.Peter. The real story behind it.
1. First Glances

_**Title:The Longing  
Author: Me silly!  
Chapter:One  
Rating: K(possible K+)  
Summary:**_

The story of Lily Evan's has been told many times and all of them have the same theme. The same plot line over and over again. Why can't they just deal with the fact that maybe for a while Lily and James were friends, that Sirius wasn't a complete tease and James might have not 'loved Lily' but had a measly crush on her? Why do these thoughts never cross anyone's minds? Are there any real hints in the books to show my reasoning unreasonable? I don't think so. So here is my version, and what is most probably the truth.

**ChapterOne.FirstYearFirstGlance**

"Mum, honestly! How the bloody hell am I supposed to build myself a cool rep with you being...you!" young James Potter wined as widow Lora Potter spat in her hands and tried to press her boy's jet black hair down to normal but as soon as her back was turned he had messed his hair up once more. It usually stuck up in the back, that James had not to do with, but he liked the look his hair formed when he had just gotten off a broom. He usually messed it up but you could tell and when James figured out the way to mess it up just so it looked like he had recently gotten off his FlyingLion260, he vowed to wear his hair like that everyday.

Ahh his broom was his priced possession. The boy has fallen in love with it in his infant age when he saw his father practicing with some friends. Then his father had gotten killed in a duel by accident. How dumb, in a duel _by accident_. Accident his ass! He was in that duel for money. He came in the tournament in one piece and came out in three. The killer had gotten a year an Azkaban, but it wasn't enough for James. When it had happened he was merely five and couldn't comprehend what had happened. Now he was eleven and could fully understand the situation. No matter what the shrink told him, he knew what his emotions were. James wanted to kill the bastard who had thought he could outsmart his father by putting him to sleep and instead levitating him three different ways!

But now wasn't the time to think about accidents and/or his ass. Now James Potter, pureblood wizard, was going to Hogwarts where he hoped to become the best quiditch player, a quiditch champion even! His father would be proud. Ah, there he went again. Thinking about his father. Well that's really all you did think about when you didn't have one. Pretty pathetic wasn't it? Well when he grew up his would never leave his son alone. James would stick by him, and alive too.

Now he had to deal with his constantly worrying mother. She was a dear, but got carried away easily and obsessed that everything _had to be prefect._ Well that was a bit far-fetched, but so was his mother.

"Oh dear, I have to get moving. Nearly late for work," she tried to sound sounds content but James could hear the disappointment in her voice. Right outside the subway and she wouldn't get to wave her own boy goodbye when he was going to Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the first time! She put on a small fake smile but James decided to be a good son and hugged his mother.

"I'll write," he assured her. Her face turned a light shade of pink and he could see her holding back tears. They then let go and waved. James peered at his watch; he had a few more minutes left. He rushed in just for fun and bumped into a few people, again just for fun. Then he heard a daughter and her father having a conversation. They sounded lost.

"9 and 3/4? Honey, you can't possibly be serious! That's absurd!" her father complained. The girl, who was facing away from James so all he could see were piles and piles of red locks, shrugged and answered, "Daddy, I told you this might be a joke. I told you and mummy!"

"May I be of some assistance?" James asked politely, giving them both a sweet eleven-year-old type of smile. The girl, who was pale but had deep emerald colored almond-shaped eyes, returned the smile. The father just seemed relieved.

"Please, can you tell us where platform 9 and 3/4, young man?" he had more of a pleading look on his face. James could tell he was a muggle.

James held his cart in one hand and took the girl's in the other and started walking until he reached a brick pillar between platform 9 and platform 10. "Just walk through here and you'll get to the Hogwarts Express."

The girl extended her hands. James blushed a little; he had thought she wanted to hold his. But instead she grabbed for the handles and told her father her farewells. Then she carefully walked through the brick's, just incase this might be a trap, some kind of a joke. Apparently it wasn't, because she was able to get to he train. James then turned around and expected a 'thank you young man' (this guy seemed old fashioned), but the dad was gone as well. So rude! Not even a thank you? Oh well. He took a glanced to make sure no one was looking and ran though the pillar.

There he was given a kiss on the cheek. "Hmm, what?"

There was the girl again, blushing. Forget a 'thank you'; he would prefer a kiss any day. "I just wanted to thank you and say my name is Lily. Lily Evans."

"Nothing to it, honestly. Oh and my name is James," he introduced and looked at his watch. It was nearly boarding time. "We better get on the train. Want to sit with me? I don't know anyone here."

"Ok!" Lily agreed. They walked up the train as she started talking. Not to much, but enough to make it comfortable. "You know I don't really know anyone either. All my friends are muggles. I'm guessing you could tell already, I'm muggle born."

"I thought so," James admitted as he searched for a compartment for them to sit it. They found one at the end and sat down. It was empty except for the two of them, but neither of them took any mind. On the contrary, they enjoyed each other's company. They both found so much to talk about and it wasn't awkward for James or Lily. In no time they had become close friends and then.

The compartment door magically opened as a boy, the same age as James, fell through it. Actually it had looked like he jumped through it, with one of the pumpkin patties. He was very handsome with charming, aristocratic somewhat haughty looks. His gray eyes looked endless and fathomless, he had dark short hair and was pretty tall. James couldn't help but look over at Lily. Her expression was...impressed. James on the other hand was a bit frightened.

"Are you alright mate?" James asked him as he helped him up.

"Name's Black, Sirius Black and yeah, thanks. You are?" Sirius had a superior look in him, but didn't exactly flaunt it. More like exposed it.

"James, James Potter. And this beautiful yet shy thing in the corner over there is Lily Evans," James introduced, giving Lily a half smile. She blushed and looked down. Sirius laughed, even though it sounded more like a dog barking.

"Are you two a couple? Or am I allowed to tell her how beautiful her eyes are?" Sirius was obviously a tease, but at least not a perverted one. And cunning at that.

"Sorry Black, but Lily and I are madly in love and are expecting to get married next summer," James laughed. Sirius joined in and Lily laughed nervously. James wasn't sure she knew it was a joke. And just before Sirius could respond two more boys jumped into the box. One was skinny in things that looked more like rags then robes. He was pale and graying, even though the same age. Skinny and had dark brownish eyes. The other one had sandy blonde hair and was a bit plump.

"Bloody damn Black, you gave us a bloody scare there!" the rag dressed one exclaimed. The plump one just shrugged. Sirius laughed once more and then introduced James and Lily to the two boys.

"Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, meet my friends James Potter and Lily Evans." They all said there hi's and what not. Then they started explaining what had happened and why Sirius crashed into their compartment. They were playing American football, but James (who is Catholic. Weird, huh?) Was convinced it was faith. James kept that thought to himself of course.

Well they soon arrived at Hogwarts and got sorted (duhh). Lily sort of drifted apart from them, but the four males become friends and formed a group. 'The marauders'.


	2. FriendshipsAndOtherThings

_**The Longing ((until the last Rose dies))**_

The story of Lily Evan's has been told many times and all of them have the same theme. The same plot line over and over again. Why can't they just deal with the fact that maybe for a while Lily and James were friends, that Sirius wasn't a complete tease and James might have not 'loved Lily' but had a measly crush on her? Why do these thoughts never cross anyone's minds? Are there any real hints in the books to show my reasoning unreasonable? I don't think so. So here is my version, and what is most probably the truth.

**ChapterTwo.FirstYearFriendshipsAndOtherThings****  
**"James Potter! Sirius Black! Remus Lupin! Peter Pettigrew!" Lily rushed over to the four boys giving each a tight hug. The four boys she had met on the train that fateful day. It was her favorite memory. An adorable boy with black hair and hazel eyes behind glasses decided to help her. She had at first thought it all a joke. Magic? Hah. And no, not just when James had told her to walk through a pillar. No, she had been denial of being a witch ever since getting the letter. It was a white letter with no real address listed to inform her who had sent it. All it said in an emerald green writing, that matched Lily's eyes her mother had pointed out, her location in the house. She ripped it open quickly; Lily almost never got mail. She had the potential to be very popular in school. Her grades were always over a 95, she was decent looking, nice and got things quickly. It was just her damn shyness and modesty! If she could just go up to a person and tell talk to them. At least say 'hello how are you?' Something polite, something decent, something! But no… The weirdest part was, though, Lily always had this voice in the back telling her 'you're better then these muggles anyway'. It was self-conceited, self absorbed, totally unlike Lily and didn't make any sense!

What in bloody hell's name did muggle mean?

She would constantly think of the word 'muggle'. And soon, when she was nine, more odd words started popping up in her head. Lily would start relating people to odd make believe creates. She even called a chubby girl, Rilia Turnbloat, who liked like a bird a 'fat hippogriff', but not to her face of course. The girl, when she was 10, had even exploded on her older sister, Petunia, yelling phrases such as 'Oh Merlin!' and had called her a 'dirty muggle'. They had never really liked each other, Petunia was always jealous of Lily. Even their parents could tell. But when her sister was yelling at her, Lily would simply roll her eyes and go run off to play with her toy stick and pretend it was a wand. This time she had yelled at her! And called her _the _word. There was that muggle word again!

What in bloody hell's name did muggle mean?

Well she had learned what muggle meant, but not in the way she had expected to.

_"Honey, why did you call you're sister a dirty muffle?" her mother, Andréa Evans, stooped down to her level and asked her. Lily had always looked up to her mother. She was a stern but fair lady and instead of talking behind people's backs she preferred to confront them face-to-face. The 10 year old could remember her looking directly in her eyes. Her mother had blue eyes. Her father had brown. No one had Lily's eye color._

_"Muggle, mummy. She's a muggle! I called her that, because that's what she is. So are you mummy, but you're a good muggle. She's horrid, make her nice mummy, please," Lily jumped up and down, telling her mother. Lily hadn't even understood what she had said, but kept on saying it anyway._

_"What does muggle mean, honey?" her mother asked her patiently. Petunia didn't have that patience, though. She walked over to Lily and grabbed a random part of her shirt._

_"Little squib! Freak! Now you're making up weird words!" she hissed. "Weirdo!"_

_"Muggle. Muggle. Muggle," Lily chanted softly and quietly._

_"Enough, both of you!" Andréa stood up and shook her head in shame. She separated her older daughter from her younger and scolded her. "Petunia, no! Set an example for you sister!"_

_"Example my arse," Petunia muttered under her breath. Lily heard it, but her mother had become obliviuos to the fact her older daughter was even there._

_"Now tell me, Lily. Lily, look at me! What does _muggle_ mean?" she asked._

_"It means a non-magic person. Like you. Like Petunia. Like daddy."_

The rest of the Evans family started avoiding her. It lasted about a month. Had she really gone insane like Petunia believed? Well Lily got fed up with it, she was smart, brilliant even, she knew what they were thinking! At dinnertime everything was usually silent. Her mom, dad and sister were picking at their food, trying there best to look away but this had gone to far! Lily got red in the face and suddenly all there food started floating above their heads. They got faster and faster and faster. They suddenly they dropped in their plates, exactly where they had been like anything had happened. The very next day Lily got the envelope. It explained that she was a witch and she would be going to Hogwarts (back in those days muggleborns got a separate letter that explained everything). Her parents were thrilled; Lily really wasn't a psychopath! Lily on the other hand thought this was a cruel joke.

Shy Lily was a witch. Shy and modest. So shy and modest that when a messy haired, pale, skinny boy showed her how to get to the train she kissed him! Thats how shy she was. Well he was cute, or at least decent, and she was very thankful. It proved this **wasn't** a joke; Lily Evans was a witch! And with other witches and warlocks, she felt like she was where she belonged! Finally! No more muggles!

Then on the train she sat with him! Lily Evans was sitting next to a wizard, a real wizard, a boy wizard, but a wizard! And simply talking. They became friends. She was friends with a boy. Friends with a wizard. She had finally had a friend! Then three other boys came in with them. The first one was Sirius Black, a very charming, handsome boy. The next was Remus Lupin, also very cute. Next was Peter Pettigrew, a small chubby boy but at the same time just as shy as Lily was. She could remember the conversation perfectly!

_The compartment door magically opened as a boy, the same age as James, fell through it. Actually it had looked like he jumped through it, with one of the pumpkin patties. He was very handsome with charming, aristocratic somewhat haughty looks. His gray eyes looked endless and fathomless, he had dark short hair and was pretty tall. James couldn't help but look over at Lily. Her expression was...impressed. James on the other hand was a bit frightened._

_"Are you alright mate?" James asked him as he helped him up._

_"Name's Black, Sirius Black and yeah, thanks. You are?" Sirius had a superior look in him, but didn't exactly flaunt it. More like exposed it._

_"James, James Potter. And this beautiful yet shy thing in the corner over there is Lily Evans," James introduced, giving Lily a half smile. She blushed and looked down. Sirius laughed, even though it sounded more like a dog barking._

_"Are you two a couple? Or am I allowed to tell her how beautiful her eyes are?" Sirius was obviously a tease, but at least not a perverted one. And cunning at that._

_"Sorry Black, but Lily and I are madly in love and are expecting to get married next summer," James laughed. Sirius joined in and Lily laughed nervously. James wasn't sure she knew it was a joke. And just before Sirius could respond two more boys jumped into the box. One was skinny in things that looked more like rags then robes. He was pale and graying, even though the same age. Skinny and had dark brownish eyes. The other one had sandy blonde hair and was a bit plump._

_"Bloody damn Black, you gave us a bloody scare there!" the rag dressed one exclaimed. The plump one just shrugged. Sirius laughed once more and then introduced James and Lily to the two boys._

_"Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, meet my new friends James Potter and Lily Evans."_

Evidently, Peter had tripped over Remus's cart, which is how they met. Then Sirius saw a new broom, whatever it was Lily couldn't remember, in Remus's cart and had to make a comment. Then Peter saw a weird shaped ball in Remus's cart. He explained that it was a muggle sport, football ((American football)). They played and Sirius fell in Lily and James's compartment, and they all met. To that day all five of them call it the cart coincidence.

Well, luckily enough they had gotten sorted in the same house, unluckily Lily had gotten other friends. Friends that were girls. One, Evalynn Avis, became her closest friend. The boys became best friends also, and in a few months worth the most popular boys. Lily was simply normal but happy all the same.

"Its Evans!" Sirius raised a cup of foaming pumpkin juice. Lily was curious to what he put in there, but didn't bother ask. "Lets toast for the most beautiful girl at this table!"

Lily giggled as Remus hugged her. He decided not let go and she was forced to sit on his lap. Awe boo hoo, poor her ((note sarcasm)). "You little flirt."

"No, not usually," he informed her. She smiled and told Eva to sit. She did so happily, next to Sirius. Eva was a beauty, long black hair that had red highlights; unnatural, and light pool blue eyes. The Gryffindor was loud and a bit rebellious, with a huge crush on the hottest popular boy. Figures. Lily's other close friend, Chloe Saracrost, was already engaged in a quiditch conversation with James. She had dark brown hair and dark brown eyes to match, a tan and another beauty. Lily was always jealous of them would probably always be.

"God I missed you guys so much. Haven't talked in such a long time," she admitted to Sirius, Peter and Remus. "I'm sure James knows Chloe, and you guys know Eva right?"

"Ahh, such a lovely sight for sore eyes," Sirius kissed Eva's hand, making her blush. She _never_ blushed.

"Leave it to Sirius to make the best first impression," Remus shook his head in disgust while Lily smiled for her friend. She thought, no **knew**, they would make a cute couple. Both ambitious and a bit arrogant for there own good.

"Oh Siri! Honey!" a high pitched voice could be heard from a distance.

"Shit, got to run," and fast then you can say 'run forest, run!' Sirius was gone. Peter was laughing like it was the funniest thing in the word and Lily laughed along, not because of Sirius but because she loved Peter's laugh. It was heavy but joyous and the nicest laugh she ever heard. His voice was weird and squeaky, but his laugh was perfect!

"Sirius Black for you ladies and gentlemen," Eva commented, rolling her eyes. Remus put on a half smile, a sign of approval.

"I shall have to use that. I hope you don't mind," he wondered.

"Use whatever you want, just give me credit," Eva smiled. She would probably become a comedian when she grew up. The girl wasn't the smartest and obviously her future didn't include anything that had to do with what she learned in school.

"Will do."

"Ewe, I do not want me closest friends flirting with each other! Eck! Get my permission first, _please_," Lily pleaded but was kidding around. Remus seemed a little shocked, but she thought it was because he forgot she was on his lap.

"Uhh, too late," Eva laughed, pointing to Chloe and James.

There they were snogging as if no tomorrow.

"Great," Lily muttered, blowing a hair from her face.


	3. ReadingLeadsToSmooching

**_Title:The Longing  
Author: Me silly!  
Chapter:One  
Rating: K(possible K+)  
Summary:_**

The story of Lily Evan's has been told many times and all of them have the same theme. The same plot line over and over again. Why can't they just deal with the fact that maybe for a while Lily and James were friends, that Sirius wasn't a complete tease and James might have not 'loved Lily' but had a measly crush on her? Why do these thoughts never cross anyone's minds? Are there any real hints in the books to show my reasoning unreasonable? I don't think so. So here is my version, and what is most probably the truth.

**ChapterThree.FirstYearReadingLeadsToSmooching**

What did it matter if Evalynn Avis had no clue what the difference was between levitating a couch and levitating a common rat? They both involved making something go up and down, right? But as her midget teacher, Professor would point out 'there is a huge difference between levitating a living thing from an inatiment object'. If you say so proff. Honestly, how many chances were you going to get to levitate a rat? _Why_ would you _want_ to levitate a rat anyway? Of course, these were all excuses to make up for the fact she couldn't do any of this stuff! Well she could of course, she's an almighty, powerful witch with powers anyone's wildest dreams!

Sure in _her_ dreams. Eva wasn't known for being the brightest student in the class. No that was Remus Lupin and Lily Evans. Eva was known for copying off them. Yes she had become a legend in her first year. **The girl who couldn't do her own homework!** TYes of ocurse, most peopel didn't do there homework but really, they did some. She never did any. She wanted to **pass**. The only subject she was good in was Care of Magical Creatures, but that was because it was easy! Its animal, it eats food and it sleeps in wherever. It wasn't her fault, though, that all she could do was figure out whether a bird had three talons or four. Her family weren't the best wizarding family. He rmother was a squib and her father was a muggleborn. She had thought it wouldn't make any difference what her background was, but she had been proved wrong. Her father had nothing to do with her, but havign a squib made her chances of become a powerful witch very slim.

Thank god she had her sence of humour. Lily Evan, her bestestest friend in the world besides Chloe Saracrost, had always suggested being a muggle comed-something. Eva couldn't pronounce it, but she knew it had the word 'comedy' in it, so it probably had ot do with something funny. Lily lived in an all muggle family so Eva pitied her. No magic at all for two months, it must bee horrible. Lily kept telling her she was being ignorant and stubborn and maybe it was ture...Maybe...

"How the hell do you understand this bloody bird crap?" Eva finally exploded. She couldn't figure out how to change her tabby cat, Miskit, into a cauldron. Lily, who was sitting right next to her, had figured out how to do it perfectly within the first five minutes, as had Remus who were sitting on Lily's other side. McGonnagall raised an eyebrow at her outgoing student, but had learned after five months just to ignore her. There as no punishment in the worl to keep her sharp tongue quiet. EVen Eva realized her teachers had given up caring about what she said, she still was emberassed.

"You flick a wand and mutter words, Avis. Whats so hard to get?" Sirius joked, poking her at the side. He had been sitting on her left side, with Peter on his left. Eva giggled; he had poked her ticklish spot! Lily rolled her eyes, but smiled at the same time. When the hell were they going to go out? Sirius had asked half the first years out already, and here's a girl he obviuosly liked and he didn't bother doing a thing! And neither did Eva, since she was extremely obliviuos to the fact that _he obviuosly liked her!_

"When I learn this the first thing I'm going to do is turn you into a cauldron!" Eva informed him with a slight grin. The eleven year old wouldn't ever admit it, for her modesty level nearly reached Lily's, but she had a great smile. She was a pretty little thing and guys stared, ooooohhh they stared, but she didn't notice and didn't care. There was the ignorance Lily was talking about, but Eva was too ignorant to notice.

"When you learn? Then I guess I have nothing to worry about," Sirius teased. Eva pushed him playfully. Remus, Lily and Peter tried to hard there snickers but failed miserabley, the enarly fell over there seats laughing. "Hmm, did we miss something?"

Remus shook his head vigoursly. "You two are just sickening!"

Sirius went red, but Eva raised an eyebrow. She was confused(but that wasn't anything new) but instead of coming out stupid, she decided to stay quiet and looked back down at her cat. She really needed help with this.

"Lily, do you mind helping me with this? A sort of tutor only you're not getting paid?" Eva asked her best friend.

"Peter and I are studyign today in the library, you are more then welcome to join!" Lily exclaimed as she gave her wand a twirl and muttered '_Caulercola!'_ turning Miskit into a multicolored cauldron.

Perfect timing. Proffesor McGonnagall stood up and walked around the room, checking to see whether everyone had completed the task at hand. She nodded in approval as she passed Remus and Lily's pots. She then took a glance at Eva and took her cauldron to examine it. At finding nothing wrong with it she commented, "What a wonderful job Ms. Evans but I would really love it for Ms. Avis to do her own work."

"Will do," Lily blushed and looked down. Remus smirked and shook his head.

"Should have denied it."

"Yeha I probably should have."

"It doesn't matter, since the class ends in 5...4...3...2...1..." the students stood and rushed out of the door as McGonnagall tried to tell them the assignment for tonight. A 12 inch paper on the importance of being able to turn one object into a cauldron correctly and the consequinces if its not done properly. Really did it matter? It was a stupid cauldron! No one cares!

"Ok, so Peter, Lily and me go to library now," Eva stated, holding her books with one hand and carrying Miskit, who was still a cauldron.

"Lady Evalynn, may I commend you on your oh so perfect grammer?" Remus snickered. Eva mumbled something about Remus and being a know it all. She enjoyed his company, but him and Lily could really make her feel stupid. bad enough she knew she wasn't the brightest but did they really have to remind her constantly? Some jokes, a few teasing was alright but really they were sort of over doing it. Even Sirius's comment today hurt her a bit. Oh well, Eva wasn't one to care what people thought. She was a 'as long as I'm happy everyone else can effing die' sort of person.

"Yeah, well screw you. Come on Evans and Pettigrew," Eva headed toward the library, Peter and Lily following. They weren't sure whether to say anything or not. What was there to say? Eva had throse phrases 'screw you' and 'piss off' that told you she was in _that mood_. Her 'mood' was a sort of form of pms, only a lot scarier. All you really needed to know was not to talk to her for a few minutes. She got over it quickly.

They arrived at library soon enough and, thank god, Eva had cooled off. The three picked a small round wooden table with what looked like bite marks on the edges. Gross. They took out some of theirbooks and a few peices of parchment and got straight to work. It had been a full hour, and they had only gone through one subject. Lily was discovering how difficult it as to deal with Peter and Eva while Peter and Eva learned what an awful teacher Lily was.

"Can we a have a food break?" Peter begged.

"Can't survive 10 minutes without food?" Eva teased. Poor little Peter looked away. She bit her lip. "Sorry dude, no big deal. Just joshin' around, you know?"

"You know, maybe a break would be a good idea," Lily agreed, giving Eva stern look. She merely shrugged it off and watched as Peter took out some snacks. Eva pointed to one and he nodde,d signaling she could take one. She nodded back, signaling a thank you. Much signals, like whoa.

"Where was James and Chloe today in Transfiguration?" Peter asked trying to make a peaceful conversation. Lily shrugged, but Eva laughed.

"Probably making out in the corner, like that day they did when Lily introduced us all! God that was so random," Eva cracked up as if it was the funniest thing ever. The other two just looked down and blushed. They were willing to say they didn't know her, if anyone asked. Eva noticed this and calmed down. "Are they even dating?"

"Well Chloe says 'they are hoplessely in love with each other'," Lily informed her. Eva rolled her eyes.

"Of course."

"James says they're friends who like to snog," Peter stated.

"Figures."

Lily blushed. "You know I've never snogged a boy. I"ve never really even kissed a boy."

"So? You're only 11, you've got you're whole life ahead of you!" Eva shook her friend slightly.

"You know, I've never really kissed a girl," Peter told Lily. Eva rolled her eyes strained herself not to say 'gee, never could have guessed'.

Lily smiled. Peter was sweet. Eva, on the other hand, thought of something. It was stupid, but they might be dumb enough to do it. While Lily was book smarts she wasn't that much of a socializer and was a bit back with fashion and etc.

"That can change," Eva offered.

"What did you have in mind?" Peter asked, obviuosly interested. Eva quickly stacked some books at the side of the table.

"I don't like this. Peter, don't listen to Eva," Lily warned.

"Oh shush," Eva ordered. "You can do it right now. One quick peck, no one will see."

Peter smiled, looking a bit eager. Lily on the other hand wasn't sure. She didn't think it was right. Kissing...in a library? What if they got caught? She would get kicked out, and Lily Evans adored the library! Also, who wanted Peter Pettigrew as there first as their first kiss?

"Ok," Lily sighed. Peter smiled and leaned in, as did Lily but once thier lips were half an inch apart she jumped away and grabbed her books. "I-I got to go."

She then rushed out of the library. Peter sighed and asked Eva," is it my breathe?"

Eva simple shrugged. "Possibly."


	4. ThatFirstKiss

_**Title:The Longing  
Author: Me silly!  
Chapter:One  
Rating: K(possible K+)  
Summary:**_

_**The story of Lily Evan's has been told many times and all of them have the same theme. The same plot line over and over again. Why can't they just deal with the fact that maybe for a while Lily and James were friends, that Sirius wasn't a complete tease and James might have not 'loved Lily' but had a measly crush on her? Why do these thoughts never cross anyone's minds? Are there any real hints in the books to show my reasoning unreasonable? I don't think so. So here is my version, and what is most probably the truth.**_

ChapterFour.FirstYearThatFirstKiss

In a situation you have to think about the positives and negatives. Correction, you should. When you think you want do something, in a situation, when making a change you should think. There are plenty of people who don't bother to thinking about could happen but instead they think they are doing the absolute right thing. The thing is when your young and you make a mistake; it usually affects other people like your family and/or friends. Bringing the negatives unto them as well as yourself. Great friends, right? Well it happens and when you become involved what can you do? You can suck it up and deal with it. Most people choose to run away, though. Betray your friend that needs you. Hell yeah. That may not be the right choice, but believe it or not it is the smart choice. When people close to you are dealing with drama just follow one specific rule.

Do. Not. Get. Involved.

Shut up and stay away. They will, hopefully, understand. Its just what kind of drama may you be dealing with? When a friend is mad at another, family troubles and of course the ever-popular boy/girl troubles. There are different types of boy/girl drama. There is when you like someone but they don't like you back, someone likes you even though you don't feel the same way or when your friend is dating someone you like. A rare case is classified as the 'Sirius girl drama'. It's just when you spend too much time with a certain girl and they wont **leave you alone**. Why do they have to be so clingy? If someone breaks up with you its not the worst thing in the world! And what's with the 'I love you' stuff. At eleven you don't really think like that. Most girls, no matter how cute, have no real common sense. They enjoy living in their own little world where everything is all pretty and pink and fluffy.

Well for this he needed somebody smart. Someone trustworthy. Someone willing. Someone who could think fast. Someone who couldn't say no. Someone who didn't know the 'how to stay out' rule. He could only think of one person, but oh how perfect of a person she was. The one. The only. The sweet, the cunning, the innocent.

Lily Evans.

It had been the last day of Hogwarts and she had been all mopey at the Great Hall. Yeah saying good-bye sad, sad, cry, cry, tear, and tear. Whatever. Well, after getting creamed in an eating contest, it was James, Sirius, Peter and Eva (who had been the winner. This girl could eat), Sirius decided to change the subject and suggested that they sit together at the train home. Just at that moment his most recent girlfriend decided to come and join them.

Her name was Clara Ann Letimka and she was a third year Gryffindor who wouldn't back off. Yeah sure, she had good looks. Golden hair with highlights, fake of course but the girl tried to make people believe they were real, and those hazel eyes that 'glistened like the stars'. It was always the same old thing. No originality in these girls anymore. Only this one had a thing with following him around and spending ever second with him. Sirius had planned on dumping her last week, but when he tried she laughed and took it as a joke.

Anyway, she came over and had insisted they sit together and talk about their relationship when they both graduate Hogwarts. Well as he heard snickers in the background Sirius couldn't help thinking about whacking her across the head with some sort of rotten meat. Smack her back into her senses. This is Sirius Black! He was a Black; he made no commitments! Nothing like that! The Gryffindor couldn't, and didn't want to, have a girlfriend for over two weeks. Homework? Hah! Quiditch? He had gotten kicked off for missing practices. Classes? He had gotten an infinite number of detentions for being late to class. Sirius black had built a reputation of being a 'bad influence' in only a month. Having one girlfriend for his seven years in this dump hole, hah.

No he didn't think this place was a dump hole. In truth, it was his escape. His escape from his own dreaded family. They were all 'dark' and 'pureblood' lovers. They couldn't stand muggleborns or even half bloods. Prejudice, tisk tisk. Sirius deeply hated his family. They preferred to stay in rather then go out with all those poor people and muggles and mudbloods. Purebloods were all so snooty and vain!

Why should a person be discriminated just because they popped out of someone with magic? They didn't pick it. It wasn't like they asked for it. No one put out a piece of paper to fill and there it was: Would you like to be magic. X Yes No. Would you like your parents to both be non-magic/muggle? X Yes No. It didn't work like that! Sure, Sirius was lucky to be in a pureblood family. It as both rare, honored, brought so called 'pride' to the wizarding community and he wasn't part of the discrimination that went along with having muggles in your family.

So afterward, the girls had left, and the marauders were still there discussing Sirius's girlfriend problem. He had begged them for help. Try to think of a way to get her away. They simply laughed and refused. Poor guy. They did admit their pity for him. She was pretty, but had a lower average then Eva. Not that any of them really cared for smarts in a girl, but Clara was a real dimwit. They felt his pain, but they knew the 'getting involved' rule and the consequences of not listening to it.

Well now he walking, no jogging, no running, toward the last compartment on the train. That was where they had all agreed to meet. Well he knew for a fact Lily had gotten there early, something about reading some book in privacy or whatever, and he needed her! Desperately. She was the ones with the brains and of course, she was still behind in the whole drama type situation. And quickly, Sirius also knew Clara was hot on his trail in the train also.

He arrived at his destination soon enough and opened the door to find pretty little Evans sitting cross-legged on his right side on the seats next to the window, reading a book 'So your older sister is a prat'. At that point he had collapsed on the floor right next to her feet and held his hands in the begging position.

"Lily, I need your help!" he gave her a pleading look as he stared in hr emerald eyes. She looked shocked but pleased at the same time. Weird, why would she look pleased? Maybe she would get back at him for accidentally mistaking her rat for a piece of bread. It had permantly scarred 'Chuckles' and she had needed a new pet. He had of course pitched in to help her buy it, but c'mon! It was him who had been coughing up rat hair for the next week. Stupid magic rats…

"With what?" she inquired. One easy simple question.

"Clara, she'll be here in a few minutes and I need you to think of something," Sirius begged. Literally. He clasped his hands together and was on his knees in a praying position. She took his wrist and helped him up, or more forced him up. Feisty woman.

"I've got an idea, but your going to have to trust me. And play along," Lily commanded. He gave her a salute.

Well, just in time Clara came in with her short skirt and skimpy tight shirt and all. Honestly, did no teachers notice at all? Least the other tramps Sirius went out with wore the uniforms, even with slight modifications. Yeah, slight his ass. "Oh Sirius Honey! Oh em gee, you got a maid for us! That's so adorable. But, oh can we change her hair color? Honestly, Siripoor, eck!"

"Why I aught a," Lily started heading toward Clara but Sirius held her hand tightly. Lucky for her, because the redheaded beast, which happened to like her hair color, was about to rip her face out! "Sorry, no. Sirius here, Siripoo as you call him, is my boyfriend."

He raised an eyebrow but went along with it.

Clara laughed, the same high-pitched laugh when he had told her he wanted to break up with her for the 13th time. "Oh Siripoo your so funny! Now really, lets go discuss Hilary and Sirius junior! In privacy…"

"It's not a joke Clara," Sirius informed her and just as he did Lily pushed him into a kiss to show Clara. It was nice and natural, unlike all the other teases. Well Clara ran out of the room crying, which was actually pretty funny since running was scientifically impossible in those shoes so she looked like she was attempting to fly, and Sirius pulled Lily out of the kiss. "What was that?"

"I told you to trust me," Lily blushed and turned away. Looking at Sirius...she couldn't. "Uh, I have to go find Chloe now and -"

"It was good," Sirius told her.

"What?"

"It was good," he repeated. "I mean your a good kisser and well...please don't go."

He grabbed Lily's hand once more and dragged her closer until she could feel his chest next to hers and his steady breathing. She felt her heart skip beats...No. She couldn't like Sirius Black. Not like he would like her back, anyway. She would be just another girlfriend, and then just another ex. Lily should have known better then to kiss the boy.

But she wasn't so sure because when he pulled her into another kiss she could have sworn she heard his heart skip a beat also.


	5. Between the Sirius

_**Title:The Longing  
Author: Me silly!  
Chapter:One  
Rating: K(possible K+)  
Summary:**_

The story of Lily Evan's has been told many times and all of them have the same theme. The same plot line over and over again. Why can't they just deal with the fact that maybe for a while Lily and James were friends, that Sirius wasn't a complete tease and James might have not 'loved Lily' but had a measly crush on her? Why do these thoughts never cross anyone's minds? Are there any real hints in the books to show my reasoning unreasonable? I don't think so. So here is my version, and what is most probably the truth.

Chapter5.SecondYear.BetweenTheSirius

What are you supposed to think when your best friend, one of them anyway, is going out with Sirius Black? Are you supposed to be happy for her, dating one of the most popular guys in the school, or should you be upset? One might think, upset why would you be upset? Sirius Black is…perfect. A very handsome boy who had inherited the aristocratic, somewhat haughty Black good looks. His dark black hair was short at the moment. He took good care of it, unless upset over something. He had gray, fathomless eyes, one's you never want to look away from. His ease and elegance was intimidating and his looks attracted every eye of any girl, any sane girl anyway.

Not only was he handsome, he was smart. Though he decided to keep his intelligence quiet, any nitwit with half a brain could see how he worked and how high his grades were. Hardworking, smart, and had looks that made him godly. Yes every first second and third year girl wanted to go out with the twelve-year-old. Every girl interested in him worked hard to be his type, get their make-up in that perfect look, put their hair up in that perfect shape, laugh the hardest, smile the prettiest and get the most attention from Mr. Sirius Black.

For anyone who really knew him, though, knew the truth. That he wasn't all angelic and great as he made out to be. The boy as a real troublemaker, a crude boy with cruel intentions. His innocence wasn't questionable; it was nonexistent. The only Black to be sorted in Gryffindor, everybody knew of that family. Rich. Spoiled. They even had a motto! Toujours pur, meaning always pure. Pure bloods or otherwise known as higher class. It was pathetic really. The whole concept was stupid, but it was what made the Sirius egotistical. A moron. Not only that, but a womanizer at that! Dating a different girl ever month, its disgusting! That was the reputation he had built in only one year.

So what are you supposed to think when one of your best friends is going out with Sirius Black?

Why didn't everyone see how big this was? A sweet innocent girl was being taken advantage of! Yep, this was what you were supposed to think. At least when that best friend was none of then Lily Evans. A sweet, shy little thing. Or as Chloe Saracrost like to call it, weak and fragile. Breaking her work be simply as if breaking a Popsicle stick. Those type. The one's you could just stomp all over. Not the type that…that…that idiot went out with.

Now, Chloe was happy her best friend's first kiss was Sirius, which was a huge deal. She wasn't against the whole ordeal because of jealousy, no! She had her James Potter. Sort of. Chloe wasn't the type of girl to stick to a boy as long as she had been with James. It was time to get a new boyfriend, she had decided over the summer. The Gryffindor was pretty sure the feeling was mutual. The Potter boy had been, it seemed, avoiding her. On the train back to Hogwarts, white Sirius and Lily were acting like one of those sweet lovely dove couples that just make you want to puke, James seemed to be engaged in a conversation, an excuse not to have to look at her. Any person would have thought that was stupid and he simply was talking to someone else. Chloe knew better. If it was any person, sure she might not jump to any conclusions.

But he was chatting it up with none other then _Peter Pettigrew_.

The lad was nice and all, but as dull as a stick. No, scratch that. You can play with a stick. Peter was blah. Just a kid who had gotten lucky. Well, not exactly lucky. The reason he got to hang around with such a crowd was he tripped over Remus's cart! Remus Lupin as another Gryffindor in their year, and a very cute one. Sirius was handsome, Remus was cute, James was decent and Peter was the odd one out. Poor boy? Yeah, but again. As dull as a stick. Duller.

Sirius Black was trouble for a girl like Lily Evans. That's why Chloe Saracrost had concocted the perfect plot to separate those two love doves for good. After all, what were friends for? Lily might not exactly approve, that is she wouldn't approve if she knew. Chloe was going to do everything in her power to make sure Lily was and stayed completely obliviuos. Chloe was smart and cunning, living with her family had taught her to lie with ease, no sweat, no blinking. Move three steps ahead and make sure the victim stays four steps behind. That was _her_ family motto. All they needed was an ancient monster manor as a home and a stupid house elf that listened to portraits of dead ancestors. Then they could be an even more pathetic version of the already pathetic Black family.

Did you get a look at that family! The mother in her fur hats and coats that made her look double her size, the father was some psycho-path who never even went out of the house, probably afraid of the muggle cuties, and the brother could have been something if he would take baths sometime! Him and Severus Snape thought it cool to be greasy slime balls, but on the bright side they never had to worry about girls following them around. They didn't have to worry about girls at all, or anyone, for that matter. You could smell them a few miles away. It was really unnerving when you were trying to eat and when you were trying to get a whiff of the delicious food, the reek of two Slytherin outcasts lingered into your nostrils. Really lost your appetite. Oh and don't even get started on his cousins, Narcissa and Bellatrix! The make-up those two applied, really after the 15th layer it's enough.

Thinking about all this, wasn't Chloe doing Lily a real favor by getting rid of Sirius? She wouldn't have to deal with that family; his smugness or any of that after Chloe was done with him. She had sent a note telling him to meet her at the courtyard and that it was urgent, signing it as Lily Evans. He was waiting there, on a random seat looking back and forth, right and left, most probably looking for Lily. How long had the girl kept the poor, unsuspecting boy waiting? Ten, twenty, thirty maybe forty minutes by now. She had to make this look realistic, don't let the big oaf become aware that this might be some type of scheme.

"Sirius!" Chloe walked over, flipping her dark hair behind her and giving him a sweet, innocent smile. If he had not been preoccupied, thinking where Lily might be, he would have been a bit confused. Chloe was never sweet or innocent; unless there was something she wanted. And what she wanted was for Sirius to break up with Lily.

Would it hurt the girl? Of course it would, but better be hurt now and feel only a little ping then see Sirius with another girl later. Chloe herself had experienced this many times and every time it had felt as if somebody had punched her in the stomach. It had taught her one simple rule. Never get too close. Boys were nothing but trouble, but fun trouble. That was until you started really trusting them that was your first mistake. Then it was after you have some fun, but you got to promise some things and give up others.

Then the crash.

That's what Chloe called it, the crash. When you found out the lies or caught him with another girl. There were many things a boy can do to break any girls heart. Too many. It was as if there was a guide, 'how to break down the girl you promised you'd be there for'. Oh that must be some secret best seller. Anyway, it hit you all at once. There was that mental and emotional pain, it was something that you couldn't forget. Though it was so easy for it to happen again, but you became extra careful. See, like a car crash. Now that's a simile for you.

Sirius returned her greeting with a smile, obviously taking quick glances behind her but still facing her direction not to be rude. Or had Lily come early? What a perfectionist! Couldn't she do something wrong for once? Lily Evans was Chloe's best friend, along with Evalynn Avis, but she could get so annoying! Eva was dumb as a doorknob, oh a metaphor now, and there was her problem. Chloe was smart and great at quiditch, but dropped boys as if useless waste and took action before thinking of consequences. Lily didn't do anything wrong! She had never done anything wrong. She probably will never do anything wrong. It's creepy and inhuman.

Chloe flipped her brown hair back once more to examine the scenery. Good, that little miss goody two shoes wasn't here. It was a horrible thought for one of your closest friends, true, but the girl was a pest and Chloe was doing something nice for her anyway. Well, half nice.

"Looking for someone?" she tried to hide her tone of apathy, or appeared to anyway. It was all part of the plan, and a very good plan at the. Completely fool proof, or at least that's what she reasoned. Normally Chloe dove head first into a plan that sounded the least bit appealing but she had worked this hard. She had worked this hard to get Sirius Black away from Lily Evans. Get him free from her grasp. Or was it the other way around? What if she was getting things backwards? Sirius was a god, everything he touched turned to gold! Yet he was adventurous and…

Was she really thinking this? For a year Chloe had carefully distanced herself form the sights of that arrogant pig! Though he did carry those XY chromosomes she fancied ever so much, and it seemed his good looks had doubled. Oh god, if only two months did this to him imagine him in a year!

_No! Stop it. This is ridiculous! _

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I am. How did you…No never mind," he raised a curious eyebrow, tilted his head and pointed up wit his index finger showing his confusion. Smart, but thick. Only he could pull that one off. It was all Chloe could to keep from laughing and making some sarcastic comment. Thank god she wasn't Eva. That girl had such a sharp tongue it could cut through iron! Also, that girl was very immature. Sure it was funny to see Sirius's and James's face when she beat them in the annual official eating contest, but pleas grow up! And there's nothing official or annual about the contest. They made it up sometime last year, three months from leaving. Chloe was too lazy to do the math. Also, the date as chosen at random. Basically one day they would declare it eating contest day and everyone would huddle up around them. Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, James Potter and Evalynn Avis. On occasion some poor victims would try and verse them, but those five monsters could eat a whole gourmet kitchen in five seconds. Separately.

"How did I…?" Chloe put on a curious voice. She was glad she finally got his attention, he was no longer looking sideways to check if Lily had come or not. She would come soon, very soon. Chloe had planned the whole thing. Who's the mastermind now Evans? Hmm? Yeah, that's right! Give the girl her well-earned kudos; Chloe could be cunning and quite sinister when she wanted to be, which was not often. Somehow the sorting hat had decided Gryffindor so she was going to play the part of a Gryffindor. Although, right now was a Slytherin time. "What, do you mean how did I know you were waiting for some one?" Sirius nodded. "Just a guess."

Sirius then simply shrugged and turned his attention from Chloe, irritating her once again. What was so special about Lily Evans anyway? Yes, sure, the whole perfect thing. So what? Didn't it distress him as well that that girl could do no wrong? Didn't he notice that she wasn't even human? Being completely perfect wasn't human. "O.k., I'm lying! I know all about it. You're meeting Lily here. This was the spot she asked to join you in her letter." Sirius's eyes widened. Chloe sighed. "She's going to break up with you, Black."

"Oh. Well I guess I'm not surprised. A girl like that and a guy like me just don't mesh together well. Really, I guess it's for the better," the ranting Sirius went on, a gloomy expression plastered on his handsome face. It made Chloe feel bad for him. Or nearly feel bad. He didn't deserve Lily…or the other way around. Whatever! She noticed that instead of questioning her on how she knew this piece of vital information. He just went on with his ramblings. Poor boy.

"You know, I guess I should be with a girl more like me. Like you for instance."

"What?" she tried to hide her look of astonishment that was creeping up. That was the last thing she thought he would say after learning his girlfriend was about to break up with him. He was falling into her trap before she had planted it! What a wuss, and for a second Chloe had thought this was going to be a challenge. Oh well. This wasn't a game. This was for Lily. "Well, I guess I see your point. We're both outgoing, mischievous and play quiditch. You're good looking with the whole package. Brains, bronze and money."

She laughed to inform him it was a joke. He laughed along, it sounded almost like barking. It was loud and powerful. Who knew something as joyous as a laugh could intimidate you? It made Chloe back down a little. He seemed to have noticed this because he started to calm down and put a hand around hers as a sort of way of informing her he wasn't going to bite. "Sorry, I guess I went a little overboard. You know you're the whole package as well. Sexy, smart and a killer-"

Chloe refused to let him finish that. She couldn't hear it. She couldn't hear this coming from her best friends boyfriend's mouth. This wasn't for Lily; this was ruining Lily. Or going to anyway. Luckily Saracrosts were strong, no man stood in the way of a friendship. "I'm sorry Sirius, I've…got to go. Lily will be arriving shortly…"

Without looking back, she rushed away throwing curses at her stupid heels. Good thing the girl was fast, eight miles per hour in these things actually. At the moment it was more her tears getting in the way. She was crying, why the hell as she crying? Oh she knew the answer, it was quite clear actually. But the 12 year old refused to believe that she could…she had…how could she?

Chloe Saracrost had actually fallen for Sirius Black. The one thing she had promised not to do. She knew, out of all the drivers, his crash would be the worst. Scratch that, she didn't. She didn't know how it would feel. And hopefully, she never would have to.

With that in her mind she walked up to her dorm and found-

"EVA! What's happened to you?" Chloe shrieked.


End file.
